Andy Logic

Appropriate, I thought, today on Constitution Day…and given the past couple years of constant assault on the rule of law as set down in our founding documents. I was inspired by a billboard mockup someone did last year.

A man should have a beard.
A man’s lack of a beard is a childish public apology for his masculinity. As such, I believe it’s a contemptible and unnatural, effeminate affectation. It’s an indication of the degree to which a man is willing to deny his fundamental nature and and participate in a lie.

I’m thinking about this today after having seen this post on the Mr. Porter site (link via). No, I don’t give a hoot about popular fashion trends regarding beards, but fashion—like a broken analog clock—is right every once in a while. I’ve worn a beard since 1992. Back then, few men I knew sported chin whiskers. In the 90′s beards were not in vogue and popular culture was not at all in love with the bearded look.

A beard, however, is not a look; it’s compulsory for a sexually-mature man. Sure, there are plenty of reasons a man will be asked or required to shave his beard and none of them have anything to do with what is substantive, natural, truthful, or honorable. These sorts of ideas, pressures, or requirements are just a part of the unfortunate social conspiracy to neuter and androgynize men (or simply a shallow man’s misguided effort to appear and become more effeminate). He who participates displays an unfortunate lack of character.

If you’re a man, look and act like it. Do not join the sad legion of lackbeards who look and behave like girls; leaving only a lack of tits to suggest their distinction from women in the crowd. These are not men. These are boys playing at fitting into a culture that demands they be other than, less than they are.

If you’re a man, wear a beard. It’s fundamental.

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p.s. I note that all the men at my agency wear beards, but that is not because of any company policy. It’s just that we only hire men of character.

I was in 4th grade. Usability testing seemed to go okay.

If you’re going to SXSW this month you need to be prepared. Here’s everything you need to know. (via Quipsologies)

No, I’m not going to SXSW. Hope you have fun, though!

My friend Kyle Steed apparently has a drink named after him and I wondered at this fact. It was suggested that I could have the same and this intrigued and fascinated me. I give you, Andy’s Man Beer.

Yes, that is a bacon garnish. Also, the background contains my weight bench and road bicycle. My work here is done.

Pray, pardon the poor photo quality.

I’m known to grill a steak or two a few times a week and make note of that regularly on Twitter. I’ve recently formed ANDYPAC in an effort to go after folks who’ve never had great-tasting, well-prepared cuts of beef in an effort to bring them into the carnivorous fold.

Oops! Wow! I hope that my map doesn’t compel some crazy person to go and kill a steer or a cow or a bull. That would be terrible.

Oh crap…I mean here that we should target excellent cuts of beef, not the folks listed below who we’re trying to get to come over to our side. Oh dear, I feel I’ve made a terrible mistake. Good luck y’all!